This is a difficult subject for me to cover. Almost 5 years ago (on 11/16/2005) I lost my cousin, LCPL Roger W. Deeds, in Iraq. He was killed while trying to extract other wounded soldiers.
This hit my family very hard and even though it was 5 years ago, I still find myself crying over the smallest things that remind me of him. I don't have a recent photo of him. In fact I didn't take this photo, but I feel that it's the best one that covers the topic of remembrance. This photo was taken by his sister, Gina, who is now an only child. Roger was her big brother.
I always felt close to my cousin even though I didn't see him often. When we were younger we would often share our birthday parties. I was born 9/29 and his birthday was 10/1. This year was difficult because I turned 25. I'm no officially older than my cousin was when he died (he was 24). It's tough to know that he will never be any older and he will never see his kids grow up. His daughter was about 6 weeks old when he passed away (her birthday is also 9/29). He never even got to hold her and that's something else that tears at my heart. To know that he never got to feel the weight of her in his arms and to see the beauty of her newborn face.
I hope that some day I will be able to see his grave. I unfortunately did not make it to his funeral in 2005. He is buried in Biloxi, MS. I know that some day, I will make that special trip down there and I will sit by his grave and feel closer to him as I get my closure.
I would like to leave you with a Bible verse that is very special to my brother. He has it tattooed on his arm as part of a memorial to my cousin:
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."John 15:13
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